The end of 2011 coincided with an “ah-ha.” Many of us write or teach because we have either experienced something we deem valuable to share, or need placed directly in front of us something we have neglected to see or deal with – therefore the message is, indeed, for us. A practitioner of natural medicine for many years and experienced interpreting possible symbolism for one’s physical ailments, I was reminded again of my own accountability.
This past year I suffered a broken rib that took months to overcome due to repeated infiltration of fluid in the adjacent lung and adhesions among the intercostal muscles. I experienced other new discomforts and dismissed most to simply aging. As the gap between my current age and the age of my mother at her death narrows a minor yet growing awareness lingers. The possibility that I would never outlive my mother’s life became more prevalent during my various ailments in 2011.
The year of my mother’s passing, and three months after the birth of my second child, I received a diagnosis for which surgery then abated. I bartered with God to let me raise this child. Every milestone in her life reminded me that I was blessed to be here to witness these achievements. As she became independent I recognized each day to be a bonus, each year to be simply grace.
To summarize, on a subconscious level I was allowingmyself to slowly erase my presence from this picture, this life. Last week an emotional experience culminated with the conclusion that I was not ready to simply leave at too early an age as my mother had. My mother was not here to witness the birth and life of this child, or the marriage and family of my older daughter. I always grieved that my children never knew her as the wonderful grandmother that she had been. I didn’t want that statement said of me! Rather than take this awareness lightly, I affirmed that I consciously choose to create my happiness and perfect health. I choose to be here to witness the happiness, eventual marriage and family of my youngest child, and to continue to be significant in the life of my grandsons and their parents.
I began a gratitude journal three years ago with various writings of my own and others. The quote above was one of those entries. How true – “anyone can start from now and make a brand new end.”A change in our perspective can free us from falsehood and limitation that we may or may not realize has taken root.
What can you set out to change now, January of 2012 –that will afford you a brand new end? What choices are before you to choose –what option is available you didn’t consider possible? What limitations might you need to challenge? What truth about who you are do you need reminded to experience happiness and empowerment in 2012?
Blessings to you for the New Year.
- Wishing for you in the New Year…
- Beginning Without Fear